Holy Empowerment Batman!

This evening I attended a fundraising event for the last organization I worked for. You might recall that I quit that job and was all to happy to never see the CEO again. Of course I *did* see him again at an employees wedding. The CEO tried to make small talk and I was as polite as Emily Post could have asked me to be. Certainly no nicer to be sure. but civil and appropriate. I thought that was that. Then I heard that CEO told the entire table at said wedding that he had fired me. How this A) even came up and B) could EVER be construed as appropriate behaviour (even assuming it wasn’t a humongous lie) is beyond me and anyone I have spoken to about it. Flash-forward to this evenings soiree where I showed up in fairly good spirits, excited about seeing former co-workers who, it must be said, I have the utmost respect and in some cases affection for. I was warmed and relieved to have been received so graciously; running up, big smiles, authentic hugs – all very nice. CEO kept eyeing me and in his (typical) paranoid state* seemed worried about what I and his current staff must be bantering so easily about. Anyway, about an hour after I arrived he came up to me and sort of tickled my shoulder by way of greeting. When I turned to face him he made a somewhat awkward move to hug me. I didn’t move. He extended his hand for a shake; I didn’t move. He flashed his signature smile** and I just stood there. The rest of teh exchange went a little something like so:

CEO: What? no hug?

Me: I have no desire to hug you.

CEO: Oh. (pause) I thought after the wedding we were OK, that everything was history…

Me: We are history…   (a tad dramatic know, but when does a girl get the chance to throw a line like that out there? I mean really!)

CEO: Come on, I though we moved past this, I thought we could be friendly at least.

Me: I was civil with you at the wedding and that’s all I had in me. We are not friends. I don’t respect you and I don’t like you and I have nothing to say to you. (I should have said that I don’t trust him either but I forgot)

CEO: (Semi-blank stare)  Well… whys that? (SERIOUSLY??!)

Me: You dont respect your staff and you don’t honour them. You are the helm of a phenomenal organization and I wish you well but you need to recognize that losing 3 of your best staff in under 6 weeks is an indication of a very significant problem.

CEO: No one is perfect. I am working on my stuff. i’m just interested in knowing whats going on in your life.

Me: I’m glad to hear it. It would be a shame if such wonderful went to waste, but I have no desire to talk to you about it.

CEO: And what are you up to these days?

Me: Thats none of your business.

CEO: If you really care about the organization why dont you come in and speak to me about your concerns?

Me: It would be my pleasure to come and speak with you and the chairs of the board.

 

This type pf back and forth, skirting issues and stonewalling, went on for what felt like 15 minutes but could not have been more then 5. I was so calm the whole time it was eerie. H|e looked frazzled. I have to say that I particularly enjoyed telling him that I had no respect for him etc. It was like a professional-life wet dream come true. Who wants to place bets that he never asks me for my input with his chairs? Anyone? AHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAA!

* Remember that U2 quote “Its no secret that a liar never believes anyone else”? Sooooo apropos!

** It pains me to say this, but if you don’t know the asswipe behind the smile he does flash a rather inviting and affable megawatt grim.