Catch Up

I’ve been AWOL since Saturday when I had my little emotional crash. I just couldn’t seem to get my shit together. So much for Post A Day in 2011…

I guess the more important thing is that A) I’m back and B) I have news that while scary as all get-out makes me feel overwhelmingly proud of myself. Perhaps not unrelated to the ‘my babies wont have grandparents’ freak out, and perhaps also not unrelated the string of married or partnered men who I have met in recent months, I decided to FINALLY tell Mr. Makesmecrazy that I am in love with him. It wasnt flowery or poetic or even very romantic. It was maybe 20 sentences long and without much fanfare told it like it is. Truth be told I expect nothing to come out of this with regards to him. What I do expect, which has already started to happen, is that for the first time since meeting him my mind is clear of all the white noise of all the ‘what if?”s and “if only”s. The cards are on the table, I’ve played my hand and at the very least (though not at all insignificantly) I will never again be unsure of what might have been.